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Writers Unite!
The Rebuilt season is now underway! Behind the sound of power tools we’re certain we can hear the frantic click-clack of keyboards as teams work through their Impact submissions. We’re aware deadlines are approaching, so look to these articles as help as you refine your submission – they are NOT intended as a reason to re-write everything!
This is the third post in our “4 ways to make Impact powerful” series. This time we’re going to get grammatical (and dramatical)!
Powerful Impact #3: Structure Matters
The Project Bucephalus awards team found it helpful to start by imagining their reader. For the Impact Award, we assumed we were writing for a fatigued Judge that had never heard of us, and had already read 10 other submissions! Our writing needed to grab the attention of this hypothetical judge, and then be both memorable and easy to read.
The best submissions use a planned structure that reaches throughout the work.
We recommend working through the following checklist:
Part 1: Pick a Writing Style and stick with it.
If you read a 5985 Impact submission (and pay attention!) you should note a particular style. The writers don’t use “we”, “us”, “our” or any other personal language. Instead they say “5985 does…” or “in this team…”. They don’t use “&” or shorthand like “w/”. This is what we call a formal style.
Impact submissions use different styles, none better than any other. What matters is consistency. Inconsistent styles are difficult to read and distract the reader – not to mention just looking sloppy!
We classify Impact writing into these categories:
- Formal: as above. No colloquialisms, shorthand, or personal language. It should sound professional.
- Informal: Written with personal language, often from a team’s perspective. More relaxed use of language.
- Crazy/Creative: We’ll just leave this one here. Some essays cannot be classified and must be read. Don’t be afraid to push past “normal”!
Note: Style is totally different from tone. You can be funny or powerful in any style.
5985 writes formally because that suits our writers. Pick a style that works for your team and stick with it.
Part 2: A bad theme is WORSE than no theme
5985 spends each off-season hunting down theme inspiration – from old poems to niche songs, commercials, inspiring speeches, cartoons, and children’s storybooks. A theme can come from anywhere, but the best relate to your team and your impact on the community.
Beware the easy theme! Some ideas have been used so often by so many teams that they have lost their power. Obviously, we aren’t the custodians of cliches – but we have read MANY submissions comparing teams to trees, ripples on ponds, or light/fire. These ideas can work, but making them stand out can be difficult.
A well-chosen theme inspires your writers and readers (and energises that fatigued judge!), sets a powerful tone, and makes your submission memorable. It can tie everything together.
A clumsy (or over-used) theme has the opposite effect, and over-rides the content of your submission. It is incredibly obvious if you chuck in a theme just for the sake of it
In writing, 5985 includes the theme in the Introduction and Conclusion, and at the start of new topics throughout the essay. The theme features heavily in the video, but lightly in the presentation – here, it’s only used if it doesn’t get in the way.
Warning: Themes in Executive Summaries chew up characters that could be used for stats. Use at your own risk!
Part 3: Set Submission Objectives
The Impact Submission has multiple components, and your team should clearly define the purpose of each. Keep referring back to these objectives as you go.
- Executive Summary: Use facts and figures that provide context. Make it short, snappy and point-based. Avoid trying to tell stories in 500 characters!
- Essay: Frame the story and provide the foundation. Mix stats and stories, but say nothing that you can’t back up.
- Presentation: Tell the deeper and harder stories. Use words and emotions to make the impact real. When you leave the room, the Judges should be certain of the Impact that you have left on the people you have worked with.
- Video: This is not for the Judges, and statistics do not matter. Use it to show the world your team’s story.
Avoid duplication of information – only in rare cases should a statistic appear more than once in the Executive Summary, Essay, or Presentation. If you only have one statistic, view it in different ways: e.g timeframes, hours vs attendance, or local versus remote.
Part 4: Submission Construction (Executive Summaries)
5985 answers Executive Summaries with a leading sentence and a series of short sentences (or bullet-points) and stats. This isn’t the only way to answer, but it does use less characters!
An exception is made for Question 12: Highlight one area in which your team needs to improve and describe the steps actively being taken to make those improvements. Effective answers to this question require more detail.
Warning: Read the question and make sure you answer ALL of it!
Part 5: Submission Construction (Essay)
Professional essays provide a measured view of team activities. Good essays provide impact and context. Great essays do both, but in a planned layout that tells one story. For 5985, the layout comes from this process:
- Start with the Introduction and Conclusion. Make sure they send the same message, albeit in different ways. Let your storytelling talent loose – make a splash on opening, and circle back and hit hard on closing.
- Plan your first and last paragraphs. These are the first and last things read by the Judge. They should be attention-grabbing, powerful and/or memorable. If you write your essay in sections with headings, consider following this approach for each section.
- Plan the flow of the rest of your essay. Map out the order of subject and paragraphs to make sure there is a single coherent story – not random jumping between subjects. Each subject change should be clear (perhaps using theme sentences) and build on something before.
- Search and destroy passive language. For example, replace “our project aim is to…” with “our project does…”
- “Mission Accomplished”: Include a paragraph near the end that clearly states your team’s accomplishments and impact in the community. Spell it out for that tired judge!
Part 6: Submission Construction (Presentation)
The Impact Presentation is where your team can personally connect with the Judges. Be engaging, pleasant to listen to, and easy to understand. Check out the 5985 Impact Presentation from 2025 for how we apply this.
When scripting a presentation, 5985 advises the following:
- Find Your Tone: We have bad news – your tone is unique to your team and you’ll have to discover it yourself. Mimic a business meeting with a Professional format; Be Energetic to draw in attention; Make the Judges laugh – or cry! The only essential is the next point:
- Keep It Balanced: “Professional” presentations can bore the audience. “Energetic” students can distract from the message. Relying on emotion can backfire. The tone should enhance your message – not weaken it.
- Dress for Comfort: It’s true that what your Presenters wear can affect their message. Whether Black-tie, business professional, team uniform, or a tutu – presenter comfort comes first. After that, be consistent, neat, and yourself.
- Limit the Speakers: The longer someone speaks, the easier it is to lose the Judge’s attention. “Bouncing” between speakers (with different voices and tones) refreshes the information flow and redirects attention. 5985 had each presenter speak for less than 20 sec at a time – but this requires a LOT of practice!
- Props and Slides: Anything you bring into the judging room should enhance the message, not distract from it. Slides should be read at a glance, props should fit into the flow. Judges must be able to simultaneously process your “extras” AND what you are saying.
- Start Strong: Summon curiosity with your first line! Surprise the judges and make them want to keep listening.
- Wake them up: Find the middle of your presentation, and deliberately re-focus the attention of the Judges. This can be through a change of tone, speaking in unison, or use of a physical prop.
- Powerful Finish: There are two parts to a powerful finish: The last subject you mention, and the closing lines. Your last subject should be the one the team values the most, and the emotion should carry through. The last lines the Judges hear should stay with them – You can be quiet and profound, loud and triumphant, or anything in between.
Part 7: Submission Construction (Video)
We will look at this one in the next article – see you soon with Post #4!